First Family Vacation!

Kennedy and Jon are both napping in our room. I'm in one of the hotel's many hallways outside of O.P.'s Marketplace. I'm people watching as I write this. Some go into O.P.'s to buy a coffee drink, others come out with a bag of chips or overpriced condiments they may have forgotten to pack. $4.19 for a small bottle of Aunt Jemima's syrup?! Come on people, pack more carefully next time!

I'm sitting on a cute bench with my laptop in front of me. The Wilderness is a beautiful hotel/resort! There are endless things to do here. They have four outdoor waterparks and four indoor. Some are within walking distance, some we had to drive a few minutes to. There is a huge arcade/laser tag area, a few mini golf courses, shops, restaurants, kiddie play areas... the list goes on and on. I was here with my family when Kennedy was just a few weeks old and we didn't experience half of what this hotel offers.

I'm even more excited because this is our FIRST family vacation! I've taken Kennedy here, to Florida and California and Jon has been with me to California, but never just the THREE of us. It has been a wonderful day so far. We arrived and got checked in early! YIPPEE! After we unpacked some of our things, it was a quick lunch and then to our first waterpark! Kennedy was excited, but Jon and I weren't sure how she would react to the water slides. Turns out, we had nothing to worry about! I stood at the bottom of the slide as her and Daddy ventured down. Piece of cake. Then we climbed a bunch of stairs to a decent size slide. When we got up there, the lifeguard told us she had to go down alone. Oh no, I thought. Will she be too scared? It was a pretty big slide! I went down first so I could be at the bottom waiting for her. Holding my breath, I see this cute little girl come down with a half scared/half excited look on her face. I grabbed her and waited for a reaction.

"Was it fun?!" I asked.
She wiped the water from her face and exclaimed, "YEAH! LET'S DO IT AGAIN!!"

We were relieved! She was so brave. Within 20 minutes, she was asking to go down the biggest water slides by herself! How cool is our kid?! She couldn't get enough of the water. Jon said it's probably because she's old enough to enjoy it, but too young to know the dangers. I agree... she was FEARLESS!

Dinner was at the Thirsty Buffalo Saloon - part of the Wild West area of the hotel. We were impressed again by our sweet girl. When the waitress took our order, Kennedy asked, "Can I have a hot dog please?" Then she asked what she wanted to drink and Kennedy replied, "Chocolate milk, please.". She ordered all by herself for the first time! We didn't tell her what to get or prompt her. We were in awe. Our child has amazing manners too. Side note: I love blogging! I can brag about my kid all I want. haha!

After a wonderful night, Kennedy woke up this morning and was ready to go. She opened the curtains and said, "It's light out!" Like, let's go Mommy and Daddy! Our balcony overlooks one of the outdoor parks. She was ready to face those slides again. We drove a few minutes to the first indoor park, which included a wave pool and huge family water slide. By family, I mean the raft holds up to four at a time. I love those. Then we can experience the fun at the same time! Kennedy was a HUGE fan of the wave pool. She didn't want us to hold her or sit in a tube... just her little flotation device around chest/arms did fine. What a cutie!

Now we're off to dinner. I became acquainted with the area earlier in the day, so I think we'll venture off somewhere in the Dells. Maybe Moosejaw Pizza? Looks like a cool place to eat!

UPDATE: Attitude Adjustment

Thanks to all of my friends for the great advice on discipline. I chose to make her punishments separate. Great idea, Kim! So depending on what she does, I will stick to certain consequences. I also remind her that when she disobeys me, it hurts the Lord more than anything. Also great advice... thanks Apryl! I seem to have forgotten the most important part! She is a very smart girl and even if she doesn't FULLY grasp the concept, it will soon be ingrained in her head.

I feel like it is going well... the tantrums and talking back are slowing down. She flipped out today and was punished. THEN put herself in the corner. haha! I wanted to laugh. But the way she behaved was only because she was in great need of a nap. Praise God she is sleeping now! She needed it.

Attitude Adjustment

My daughter is a very smart little lady. She speaks very precisely, enunciating every word and you can tell she really thinks before speaks... something I'm still working on! She is respectful and kind to others -- except when she bullies her younger friend, Josie. Poor girl, haha. So here's the problem... lately, more than ever, her mouth is getting her in trouble. Just towards me, really. I don't even notice it much with Jon. JUST ME! I try not to freak out because I know she feeds off of that. I already see ME in her frustration... YIKES! I've rubbed off on my daughter the one way I didn't want! I have little patience and I can see that in her as well. So in order to fix her, I'm trying to fix me. I'm glad that I can admit where I'm going wrong and I'm able to act quickly because if she were 16 and I was trying to fix her behavior, I'd have a big problem on my hands!

Here is what I do when her mouth gets out of hand - and by 'out of hand' I mean yelling 'NO!' at me or 'I DON'T WANT TO!' ...or really just throwing a screaming/kicking fit.

1. I warn her.
2. If she does it again, she gets put in a timeout. Timeout is in her room, sitting on her bed for 3 minutes or more.
3. Then she comes out and apologizes. I explain what she did wrong and forgive her for acting that way. We kiss and hug and it never gets brought up again.

Pretty textbook to me. Except when she does it again... and again. This does not happen everyday, thankfully. Just sporadically when she decides to push my buttons, usually resulting from lack of sleep on her behalf. I also know that food can trigger behaviors. The healthier the BETTER! Rather than processed junk, I've always tried to feed her 'natural' foods. Anyway, I'm consistent with her and the way she is disciplined. Jon is also on the same page, but like I said, it rarely happens with him.

Do I keep being consistent and hope she stops the behavior with age? Or should I try something new? Taking things away from her that really matter is my next step. I've done it before and it works. Should I bring it back and stay consistent with that?

Parents, I need your advice! HELP!

The Healing Garden

On Tuesday, I had to go to the hospital for the first time since Grandma passed. As I climbed the levels in the parking structure, my heart grew heavy. I parked the car and just cried. Walking to the elevator, through the halls, down the stairs, up another elevator, into the North building... I held it together pretty well. Maybe it was because grandma wasn't in that building long. Or maybe it was Kennedy, who picked out flowers for her auntie and proudly carried them all the way to her room. That gained a lot of attention. Everyone commented on how cute and helpful she was! A little old lady actually gave Kennedy $1 for 'being such a big helper'. She was very sweet! We had a nice visit with Melissa, who was recovering from gallbladder surgery.

Today we visited my dad, who had his knee replaced yesterday. I knew today would be hard. His room is located in the Patient Tower... the same building Grandma spent most of her time in during her hospital stay. We got to the main elevators of the Tower. I was ok thus far. We climbed to the 11th floor... oh no... she was on this floor during recovery at one point. I look up - whew! ...my dad's room is to the right. (Grandma's was on the left) We walked into his room and gave him hugs and kisses. As I approached the window and commented on what a beautiful view he had, I looked down and noticed that his room overlooked The Healing Garden. I buried my head in my hands and wept. The Healing Garden is a wonderful place patients can go to enjoy an abundance of live plants, fresh air and the sounds of trickling water. I took Grandma there on a cold February night, the day after her second surgery. We couldn't enjoy the outside area of the garden, but thoroughly enjoyed the inside.

It was a Tuesday night. I stopped at Kohl's on the way to the hospital and bought Grandma a few outfits and a pair of tennis shoes. Then I picked us up a couple of burritos from Chipotle. I'll never forget the look on her face when I arrived. She was so happy to see me. Happy because I bought her new clothes. Happy because she was going to eat something she had never eaten before... but most of all, happy because I was there. After we finished dinner, I made her try on all of her clothes. We put on a little fashion show right there in that hospital room. Her nurses loved it all! And boy, did she look adorable in everything! With her back pain and other issues, she lost a large amount of weight very quickly. Grandma always joked, "Well, one good thing came out of this mess... I finally lost the weight I'd been wanting to lose all these years!" She was so silly. We'd been trying to get down to The Healing Garden for some time, so I asked her if she wanted to go on a little adventure. She threw on a new outfit and we headed down to the 8th floor. Grandma LOVED plants, so this was right up her alley. She didn't get as excited as I had hoped, but I knew she was just exhausted from the surgery. We spent some time talking and time being still. I could tell she had a lot on her mind but I didn't pressure her to share her thoughts. I took a few pictures of her in front of the plants and we headed back to her room. She turned on a show and we both started dozing off. Around 10:30 I kissed her goodnight and told her I'd see her tomorrow.

After our visit with my dad, I decided to take a little detour... to The Healing Garden. Tears welled up in my eyes as soon as we opened the doors. I showed Kennedy exactly where Grandma Patty sat that day I wheeled her down. I cried and Kennedy consoled me the best way she knew how. "It's ok, Mommy." We went outside and enjoyed the rest of the garden. At that point, I was trying to catch my breath from crying. We made so many memories together, her and I. This was just a small one, but one that I hold in so close to me. I took a picture of Kennedy in the same spot Grandma sat. I cried. Then I sat next to her and we talked about Grandma. Another couple walked in and I hesitated, but then asked if he would take a picture of Kennedy and I in that spot. I balled my eyes out as we walked out...

I think about her constantly. Today was a very rough day for me and I selfishly wish she were still here. Not in pain, but here and healthy. Praise God that she is with the Lord, worshipping Him at this very moment. But I long for just one last hug from her... one where I have to bend down to reach her five foot frame. We'd squeeze the life out of each other. I just miss that.

I'm not sure why I decided to share this, but I know that writing helps me get through the hard times. Thanks for reading, and thanks for being there for me.

I love you, Grandma and I'll never stop thinking about you. Until we meet again...

Weathering the Storm

The storms the other day were pretty intense!! It all started on Thursday morning when Kennedy and I were driving home from Brookfield. It was a complete downpour on I-94. We were doing 40 MPH and I couldn't see 30 ft ahead of me. I'm a pretty aggressive driver and nothing scares me... but I started to pray out loud for the Lord to guide our car home safely. As I finished the prayer, Kennedy asked why I was praying. I told her and she said, "Oh.".

Of course my grandma came to mind immediately. She would've called me the night before to tell me that this storm was coming and to "BE CAREFUL Melissa! It's the other drivers I'm worried about.". And because she would've known I was going to be out and about during the storm, I would have received several calls reassuring herself that we were ok. I have to say, I missed those calls on Thursday... I truly missed them. Even though she was a worry wart, I know that she always had my best interest at heart. Nobody loved me like she did and I'll never have that again. Selfish, I know. My heart aches because she's gone and I just don't know how to fill that void. Look at that picture of us! This was taken the day I was born. From the moment I came out, she loved me more than anything... you can see it on her face. She had unconditional love that only the Father Himself gives us.

More storms hit us Thursday night. I drove home and took all the wrong ways... flooding was everywhere! After I finally walked in the door (double the time it usually takes me), Kennedy greeted me with the biggest smile! She exclaimed, "Mommy!! Jesus got you home safely!!!" Wow... that really made my day! She's so smart! I love that she pieces things together the way she does. We have the sweetest little girl and I wish Grandma were here to watch her grow up. I wanted to call her so badly to tell her what Kennedy just said... but I couldn't.

Hurting like this is an awful feeling. When does it get easier??

Baking with Tears

One of my very favorite recipes my grandma used to make was her banana bread. It is HANDS DOWN the best banana bread I've ever had. The first and last time I made it was about 5 years ago. It didn't taste exactly like hers and left me a little discouraged. Well I decided to try my hand at it again. My KitchenAid mixer has been a SAINT for baking, so I knew it would be a lot easier this time around. It turned out AMAZING!! I was so proud of myself. When I took that first bite, I actually had to hold back tears because all I thought about was her. I felt like she was there with me, it was the weirdest thing.

I get so much joy out of baking. It's the best feeling watching people enjoy something I make! It's the same exact feeling my grandma would get. She cooked and baked because she loved it, but also because she loved making people happy with her food. I finally get it after all these years! She would BEG me to let her teach me how to cook. I always told her 'no thanks'... she knew I hated it. Now I regret not taking her up on all those cooking lessons. I wish she could see me now... she'd be so proud of me. Now I just have to conquer that cooking thing...

Love you gma.

The Dentist

Most people know that when their child turns three, it's time to get those little teeth cleaned! Well, even though I work for a dentist, I was dreading Kennedy's first visit. I've seen kids come in and scream bloody murder. But I've also seen kids come in somewhat timid, but very cooperative. Kennedy was somewhere in between the two. She cooperated at first, putting on the glasses and patient napkin (bib). But that was only because I was in the chair, setting the example. When it was her turn to lay back, she freaked... "I wanna go hooooome!" and "I want Daddy!" Funny how they always want Daddy... like mommies are so DREADFUL! I told Mary Kay (our hygienist) that if she didn't mind listening to the screaming, I'd be totally fine with her going to town. We don't force kids to sit in the chair if they aren't comfortable, so she told me it was fine if we had to try again another day. This is exactly what I DIDN'T want. My daughter went from being excited about having her teeth cleaned, to completely melting down. At this point I was just embarrassed. This is the type of child that can be a bit frustrating for us. But when a well-behaved child enters the office, we rave about them for days. Why couldn't MY kid be that child?! I left the office feeling so discouraged.

Kennedy knew I was upset. About an hour later, she said in the sweetest voice, "Mommy, I'll be better for Mary Kay next time." That made me feel so good. I feel like she knew her behavior was inappropriate and that Mommy was disappointed.

Although my day didn't start off well, my mother-in-law brought up a great point. Sometimes we expect too much out of her because she's so smart. I need to remember she is only three. There are going to be times she acts like a three year old. I really feel like Jon and I do our absolute best to love and discipline her. I'm not saying we're perfect, but we're doing the best we can. One thing is for sure... Kennedy is a very independent little girl and she does things on her time. She NEVER holds back her feelings. I have no idea where she gets that from! haha!

I'm proud to be her mommy :)